Living in this easy access, overly sensual culture- I’m moved to think that I’m the only who feels like this. We live in a society where being the “bad girl” is often glorified and being scantily clad ALL the time, is labelled as “sexy” and appealing. Too many times have I seen advocates of the beauty of woman’s mind half dressed in their protest.
What I’m really trying to decipher is, why being half-naked is instantly considered to be sexy? Just because it’s super tight don’t make it right. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand the want to celebrate curves and exude confidence in the skin you’re in! I get it! Many times you just can’t help it. Having curves is nothing to be ashamed of. What I don’t understand is why being “sexy” is directly linked to small items of clothing in tight proportions. To then post images of yourself in such apparel displayed for the world to see on social media, constantly.
Blah blah blah, right?
Hear me out…
Why do we feel we must look a certain way to get attention?
It’s almost like there’s this strange misconception in the way we think. Women want to be celebrated and sought after for their minds and the many attributes they can offer the world, yet the delivery is off.
It’s like attending an office interview in a two piece swim suit…
The packaging just ain’t right.
We’re in a time where the amount of female university grads is at an all time high. Women taking top rank in post secondary enrollment, later going on to do amazing things in corporate spheres and other highly skilled professions. Yet some how, with all of this free-flowing intelligence, there’s a disconnect to morals. The idea that respect should come first is kin to a foreign language. Respect stretches far beyond any fly outfit you can throw together or flawless makeup beat-down you can give yourself. Understanding what you have buzzing around in your brain is worth more than the price of your shoes. Yes, you should never base your identity on the perception others have of you, but what do you say about you? Clothing is one of the loudest forms of non-verbal communication. Why must our bodies be so loud, yet our voices so small?
Now, before it’s fixated in your mind, no, choice in clothing doesn’t make you flat-out immoral or less than. Nor do modest women collectively posses better character.Yes, Let’s not get carried away – that’s FAR from where I’m coming from…
But, truthfully, the expectation to be taken seriously is basically null and void if you’re dressed a certain way. Whether you’re on the job or at a club. That’s just a fact. Granted, if you’re seeking a certain type of attention, then that’s exactly what you’ll get. If your goal is for your opinions to be heard and your thoughts to be considered in high regard, then you should probably consider your wardrobe choices a bit. That’s like putting honey out on a hot day and NOT expecting any bees, like come on.. There’s SO many ways to embody sexiness without being under-dressed and over exposed.
Correct me if I’m wrong but all women have the same parts! No? Shaped and formed differently but still the same nonetheless. Why are we so fixated on thinking our body parts and the display of them is what sets us apart from the next female?
We need to elevate ourselves beyond this….
Why is being “a good girl” considered to be SUCH a faux pas these days?
I try my best to exude body security in a tasteful manner. Not because I’m boring or stiff either, but I’ve identified how I wish to be approached. I’ve been a curvy girl my whole life. My mother’s side of the family is full of hips, hills and valleys; we’re filled out bunch. And, this is something I’ve always embraced – I’ve been comfortable with the physique that I have, long before this “type” of physique was popular. It’s like no matter where you turn now, someone is purchasing hips, boobs and butts and anything else you can think of. All in the name of being “sexy” and desirable. This isn’t to say that the “illustrious figure 8” is the only body type that’s appealing. Absolutely not! Ask any well paid Victoria’s Secret Model. All shapes and sizes can be appealing.
Here’s the thing that’s so mind-boggling to me: why MUST I play up my curves to be considered sexy? ‘Cause the last time I checked, curves will be curves as long as curves are CURVES! Like, you can see them no matter what you have on! Why must they be magnified and shown off? Why is maintaining mystery such an unheard of gesture these days? I don’t know about you, but I HATE feeling objectified.
Now, I’m sure if you’re still reading, some may be saying what’s the big deal? It’s my body, my choice. Ok, cool. It is your choice, but, the same way you have a choice so does a man. You can’t decide how a man will react and communicate with you. But you CAN limit the opportunity for disrespect. Women have become so desensitized to what being lady-like actually means. Don’t ever fool yourself for one second into believing the notion that you can “Think Like A Man.” It’s completely ridiculous. Men are visually stimulated. It’s really that simple. Let’s be real ladies we already know this! #Selfie101, Hello! We as women are not wired the same way as them. So, behaving as though we are will always be disastrous, for us. Being on display will ALWAYS generate extra attention. Mind you, just being a woman with some men will generate attention, but you get my point. If you lay out the bait don’t be shocked or offended when you attract unwanted spectators and pursuers. It comes with the territory.
The intent isn’t to attack women who choose to be exposed, because at the end of the day we all have free will. Nor is this a plight to highlight a ‘holier than thou’ mentality. This is, however, attacking the mindset that you HAVE to be exposed to be sexy and the annoying stigma that is attached to the choice of modesty. Your mind is a beautiful work of art on it’s own, let it be showcased for what it’s worth. Your sexiness is never dependent on what you’re wearing and if you’re reliant on your apparel, or the lack there of, to appeal to people then honey– a tight tiny little number should by FAR be the least of your concerns.
There are so many ensemble choices that can embody your womanliness while respecting your destiny. Let’s redefine the way we appeal to people and honour our temples in the process.
Let’s get a discussion going, thoughts? Share with friends!
Top:H&M, Jeans:TopShop, Shoes:Asos