A change gon’ come…

The follow up:

It’s winter!

The season change has me thinking that with the weather we must adapt…
There’s really no way around it. We must conform to nature to keep warm.



This week, I went to dinner with some friends and we talked about so many things. One of which, being the issue of women and their attire in various circumstances. Now, I know, deja vu right? This topic and people’s view on it truly has me intrigued as of late. *Anywhoo* We got right in! My friend made the point that she doesn’t want to feel like she HAS to conform to get ahead in life- especially in regard to what she wears. “If a man does’t want to be with me based on what I choose to wear, then that’s his loss. I can cook and clean; what I’m wearing doesn’t take from that.”

She’s absolutely correct! What you have on will never, ever, subtract from your abilities.


It might nullify them. You may never get the opportunity to showcase those amazing traits if you block yourself right from the jump…


-comply with rules, standards, or laws
-(of a person) behave according to socially acceptable conventions or standards.
-be similar in form or type; agree.

Conform?! Where they do that at?

We (myself included to a certain extent) view conforming as a way of control and/or blending in. However, with the inevitable seasons we face in our lives we have to adapt, and dare I say conform, to our new circumstances. Failing to do so usually ends with an abundance of friction we feel so undeserving of.

Who’s to say that conforming is all bad? What if it’ll benefit you in the long run?

Millennials are stubborn. You know why? We know everything, you can’t tell us nothin’!

We say what we want, do what we want and we wear what we want- WHENEVER we want!  

Unfortunately, all of the above have led to our demise at some point. We’ve been afforded such amazing opportunities to further our education, formally or not, yet we still don’t learn.

We’ve trained ourselves into thinking that being traditional is for people who aren’t ready to “live”. Those safe people who are afraid of their freedom. All the while, forgetting freedom has costs of a different kind.

-We don’t get that job we want by behaving and dressing how ever we wish…
-We don’t understand that starting a business requires sacrificing the latest clothing trends and turning up every weekend…
-We don’t understand that giving it to everybody leaves you with nobody… *sips tea*
-We want to bare it all physically, emotionally and verbally and expect somehow to maintain mystery that’s desirable….
-We fail to realize that our predecessors have experienced long lasting love and career success by in many cases operating in a “traditional manner….”

We don’t understand that  c o n f o r m i n g to adulthood is something we can’t escape.

Yet, we kick and scream protesting it’s so hard for us these days when in actuality we refuse to play by the rules.

Might I add, playing by the rules and agreeing with the rules are two very different things…I’ll save that for another day though 🙂

For the record: I love innovation and advancement, theoretically and practically, in all areas. The way we think, dress (You guys KNOW I love clothes), technology and the list goes on…

But I can’t help but think, how can we fully evolve into a better people if we do away with the foundation we’re meant to stand on? ‘Cause without it there would be no us, right? On that premise alone it’s worth considering, at least.


Just some thoughts as I winter through this current season..

Bless Ya,


Jacket:Thrift, Skirt:Zara, Boots:Steve Madden, Hat:Asos

Written by goldthelabel



  1. Yessssss Perri. Yet another thought provoking post.

    I think to your point of playing by the rules versus agreeing with them. Sometimes, we play by the rules in order to get to where we want to set our own rules.

    Agreeing with rules that stifle our voice as a people, as a gender is a very different ball game!

    Truly been learning as of late to chose my battles more wisely and learn that not every rule was meant to be broken but to understood and to determine how it affects one’s life for the positive or the negative.

  2. Yes! That’s it! Many rules are not meant to be broken- in our blocked state of thinking we’re unable to see a lot of times they’re for our protection. Picking the right battle to fight always requires self and situational reflection; both of which need heavy wisdom applied!!
    Bless Ya- Perri

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