Solitude is Blessed

Ty’ Oswald | goldthelabel.com

How many of you can wholeheartedly say that you are comfortable in your solitude? When I ask this question, I am not just referring to going to the movies alone or when you decide to dine in at your favourite restaurant by your lonesome. Nor am I making reference to flights overseas for a weekend getaway by yourself or staying in from Friday to Sunday avoiding all human contact.

While these are different examples of activities that one can do to enjoy their alone time; what I’m referring to is the solitude where for days, weeks or months it is mostly you, your four walls and God. You’re probably thinking that sounds a lot like being incarcerated and there is much truth to your presumption.

“Through silencing your thoughts you realize that the baggage that people have thrown on you is a reflection of them which ironically has nothing to do with you.”

This solitude that I’m referring to is an exponential amount of alone time where God, in his divine time, reveals you to yourself. It’s a time when silence becomes your most loyal friend. During these moments of solitude your awareness of self and God, if channeled correctly, are at an all time high. Everything becomes more apparent in these quiet moments allowing your vision to be less clouded. The lies that you have accepted over the years because someone outside of yourself, has told you to be true begin to no longer hold any value. Through silencing your thoughts you realize that the baggage that people have thrown on you is a reflection of them which ironically has nothing to do with you. You begin to recognize and accept those things and mindsets that you need to grow through or let go of. This mask that we’ve consciously and unconsciously been taught to wear that created a facade, alluding that we have everything together and under control, graciously falls off. You have no other choice but to surrender to God and His divine plan for your earthly journey. Through this journey you begin to understand what Erykah Badu talks about in her song ‘Bag Lady’ or ‘Mad’ by Solange. In order to heal and step into your destiny, it’s imperative to stay true to yourself by releasing all the years of baggage. The art of releasing is powerful because it makes you anew and pure. For the first time, with this new vision you begin to see yourself without any false pretence, in your purest most authentic state.

I really love the way Mashonda Tifrere explained what this metamorphosis looks like in her most recent interview with xoNecole. She shares that, “It looks like self-inflicted solitary confinement” and I 100% agree with her. It feels like there is no one that you can turn to, regardless of the depth of the relationship, because you’re fighting an internal battle. It’s your truth and if you let it, in your mind becomes the devil’s playing field. In these moments of alienation and spiritual purging you realize that you owe it to yourself and the people that you love to deeply invest in your soul. To break those mental barriers that hinder you from growing into yourself in our conditioned society.

You may be wondering, why is spending time alone important, especially when it sounds somewhat painful to face your truths? Solitude is necessary so that you can begin to gain clarity on why you were even placed on this earth. Once you’re able to silence the ongoing chatter of your mind, breathe and allow yourself to hear what God’s plans are for your future, you naturally gain a sense of inner peace allowing you to become a more aware and mindful human being. Let’s face it, the world needs more people like that. While experiencing this peace gained from being in your solitude, so much clarity pours into your soul. You begin to realize that there is no lack in your life.  You begin to understand that you hold every ounce of power, strength and resilience needed to elevate throughout this dimension. This level of soul searching will transform you. You will not be the same person you were last year around this time and that’s something to be proud of, because anything that isn’t growing is dead

Now, just so that we are clear, I personally believe that getting to understand yourself is a continuous journey because at every level you’re a different person. This is because as we evolve and step into alignment with our higher self, our interest and perception constantly change as well. 

What I love most about the “process” is that in these moments you find your strength. You find your truths. The way you have been conditioned to think and operate begin to shed. It’s renewal, again and again- constantly birthing a new you. The limits begin to fall off. The fear slowly begins to fade away. The attachments to circumstances, people, places and things no longer play as much of a big role in your mind, because, through the silence you gain control of how you choose to channel your thoughts and what you choose to channel them into. Through the shedding and rebirthing you notice, at your most trying times, only God brings you peace where there seems to be many years of chaos, disappointments, unanswered questions, dissatisfaction and baggage. These moments are a combination of both light and darkness but before you can reach the luminous view, what I’ve both learned and experienced, is that you have to ache. For me, it’s been heart wrenching. Like a caterpillar transforming into a cocoon before it reveals its outer beauty that maybe it didn’t even know it possessed. 

After spending much of my past year and a half in solitude, I’ve had time to really think about life as a whole. For almost an entire year after relocating to London, I’ve spent most of my time in the four walls of my bedroom, unemployed and lonely. Sometimes even surrounded by people I still felt alone. So many people assume that when you move to a new country, everything is fun and games and full of exploration (and there is much truth to that) but I’m here to tell you that all that glitters isn’t gold. It’s literally like being birthed out of your mom’s womb again. 

“You begin to unpack those bags that you’ve carried allowing yourself to travel lighter.”

This kind of investment in yourself is crucial because it allows you to become the best you. It allows you to be more aware of how you react to people and situations. It teaches you that you don’t only have to rely on your own strength because God is an ever present force. It makes you a better listener and friend. You begin to unpack those bags that you’ve carried allowing yourself to travel lighter. You begin to have a new found appreciation of actually loving yourself and others. You’re able to bless everyone you encounter in ways you haven’t before because you become at peace with yourself knowing that your strength comes from the most high God! Your need to react to things that don’t grow you ceases. Your need to entertain relationships that do not genuinely build you up and hold you accountable diminishes. Addressing the truth in yourself and others is no longer tedious because you love yourself in a way that allows you to communicate effectively with those who you encounter. Your words and your actions are parallel and your need to portray that you are this positive person and exuding positive energy become one. 

So my questions to you are:

  • Are you willing to dig deep and really find out who you are as an individual regardless of who you may lose along the journey and how uncomfortable the process may get? 
  • Are you willing to face your truths head on and actually let go of what’s holding you hostage?
  • Have you found forgiveness in your heart from situations that happened in the past or even currently?
  • Is your baggage hindering your friendships/relationships- your growth? Have you ever thought about that?
  • Do you really love who you are?

Solitude is blessed and alone is okay! 

Keep up with Ty via Instagram @lifeofthe_fox

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Written by goldthelabel

Golden.

One comment

  1. Loving these posts P X

    I find it so amazing that when we present our purest selves to others and the world, we really find out how much we all have in common and realize that we’re not the only ones fighting/going-through a battle we once thought we were alone in – so Thank you for sharing Ty!

    Through my own experience, I remember the many nights I spent alone in my tiny dorm room in solitude. In this space, I cried, I laughed, I read, I drank, I thought and overthought, I dreamt, I inspired, I reflected and I beat myself up many times for past mistakes…. but most importantly, I grew. Over a 1-year span I looked in the mirror and saw something different; a different version of me. Instead of complaining about the pimples on my face, I embraced them – ‘Those doughnuts the other day were worth a few pimples”; I loved my marks on my face that I got from when I was little; I loved my smile regardless of how chipped my tooth was (que in Fab’s song); I even loved my hairy ass eyebrows that grew out because I lost trust in the Indian’s on the high-street. But what I found was that I began to eventually LOVE ALL OF ME and it didn’t matter who didn’t like me because ‘No matter how ripe, juicy and fresh you are as a peach, someone out there still won’t like peaches’. I became stronger internally and to my surprise this showed externally; in the way I carried myself and how I spoke. I remember one of my classmates telling me how she wishes she was as strong and confident as me and that blew me away!

    It was only when my final weeks in university were approaching and things started to feel real – I was packing my bags; throwing away things etc. – that I questioned myself, “How will I maintain this person I’ve become so that I, myself, remain centered and not lose track of the person I found and the growth journey I was on?” ….because moving back home to your parents house with a 1(8) year-old sister after 1-year of solitude, and 4 years of living away was like signing up to be on ‘Survivor’. But then it hit me that the openness, realness, and growth you encounter during solitude is not an expiring process – it does not have an expiration date. You don’t set yourself up to practice a year or however long amount of solitude and ‘hope for the best’ that comes out of it – it’s a lifestyle; it’s a habit; it’s constant; it’s ever-changing, and it’s so addictive to watch yourself flourish and blossom everyday that you maintain your growth regardless of the environment you’re living in and the people you are surrounded by.

    You said it best, “It allows you to be more aware of how you react to people and situations You’re able to bless everyone you encounter in ways you haven’t before because you become at peace with yourself knowing that your strength comes from the most high God! Your need to react to things that don’t grow you ceases. Your need to entertain relationships that do not genuinely build you up and hold you accountable diminishes. Addressing the truth in yourself and others is no longer tedious because you love yourself in a way that allows you to communicate effectively with those who you encounter. Your words and your actions are parallel and your need to portray that you are this positive person and exuding positive energy become one.”

    My positive thinking and perspective has allowed me to see ‘Moving Back Home’ in a different light. Because now I can practice my solitude on the beach alone (couldn’t do that in England); I can recreate my bedroom to a warming space that allows me to do this when my door is closed; I can influence the ones I love to do the same even if it means getting them to turn off the TV and ‘disconnect’ while we’re outside laying on the grass counting clouds. It’s not my dorm room, but it works 😉

    Again, thanks for sharing!

    X

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